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T O P I C    R E V I E W
billbaily Posted - 25/04/2020 : 09:18:44
I've noticed that on this forum there is a wide range of interesting folk living in or have connections with Tredegar. So I am wondering if we could put this to good use. We could all join in to compile a hopefully, longish poem on our real experiences or even made up things on this lockdown situation. We can see how far it goes until it comes to a natural end, but have a laugh along the way.
I'll start us off and see if someone can place the next verse after me
Here we go!

Outside the shop I join the long, snaking queue
Marks on the floor kept me two metres away from you
Grabbed a basket and started to walk quickly around
Headed for the toilet rolls, but none could be found
Thought to myself what other option do I have
When the inevitable time came when I NEEDED the lav!
25   L A T E S T    R E P L I E S    (Newest First)
billbaily Posted - 25/05/2020 : 09:23:36
great will check that one out!
tony Posted - 17/05/2020 : 18:14:40
There's a cracking poem called "When just when the tide went out" on YouTube by Max Boyce, about the coronavirus. Sorry I don't know how to upload the link.
billbaily Posted - 02/05/2020 : 08:49:31
The people in my some of my poems will never be revealed
Trust me my lips are most definitely sealed
Like I said earlier we have lots of interesting characters in Tredegar
I was very fortunate that I didn't have to travel far
Couldn't anyway due to lockdown, couldn't go out
So in the final words of the Dragons Den cast - I'M OUT
Look after yourselves & keep safe everyone...
ShelleyW Posted - 01/05/2020 : 22:26:36
Well done billbaily very honoured to be part of one of your poems lol
billbaily Posted - 01/05/2020 : 21:00:22
Thanks for reading
Hope they entertained you
billbaily Posted - 01/05/2020 : 20:54:48
I was doing some gardening the other sunny day
when a big lob worm poked his head up to say
WATCH where you're digging you silly old man
I'm really not your biggest fan
I'm wriggling along doing my own thing
when what do I hear - you shovelling!
For goodness sake will you let it be
Just sit on your bench and have some respect for me
Thank you
billbaily Posted - 01/05/2020 : 10:52:49
The past few weeks all my texts seem to be
from my grandchildren saying - how much they miss me
Longing for the day when we can all see
kids happy faces and them running free
They'll race up the path and push open the front door
There's going to be massive hugs & kisses like never before
The simple things in life are always the best
As far as I'm concerned you can forget all the rest
billbaily Posted - 01/05/2020 : 10:46:01
There's a lot of noise & activity going on in our bedroom up there
so I'm jumping on my chair lift and zooming straight up the stairs
My lovely wife was sorting out wardrobes & holding my emerald green 1970's flares (Very wide trousers worn in 70's)
I had a bit of a wobble, had to sit down carefully as last time I wore them I had a few scares
Warning - not to be worn on gusty, windy days as flapping & take off will most definitely occur
I ended up soaring like Eddie The Eagle and caused quite a Tredegar stir
Is it a plane they cried, Is it a big bird
No it's that boy from No17 and he's looking quite absurd
Ahhh those were the days, had a Ford Anglia - a nifty bit of kit
Also sported a handsome moustache - ooooh I thought I was IT!
Anyway thought I'd try the flares on - give myself a belly laugh
Couldn't bend to put them on, so I'm off to have a Radox muscle soak bath
billbaily Posted - 30/04/2020 : 13:38:15
Sitting in my garden having a cup of tea
Watching the bees as they whizz past me
There's a nest in my chimney, crows are flying back & fore
I look down on the paving at the busy insects on the floor
Above are bright blue skies with just a gentle flowing breeze
I kick off my old gardening shoes and lean back with ease
It's so quiet... it makes you stop & stare
All my senses are heightened and it makes you more aware..
of this natural beauty we are seeing everyday
Thinking we are so fortunate in everyway
billbaily Posted - 30/04/2020 : 13:26:03
Started a lockdown jigsaw puzzle approximately 4 weeks ago
1,000 tiny pieces in the box was stated so.
990 pieces later I started to get a little annoyed
rounded up the family they were going to be deployed..
to look for the missing pieces that belonged to Charles & Camilla
If I cannot complete this puzzle I'm going to have to use Polyfilla!

So sorry your HRH found them chewed up in the dog's bed

billbaily Posted - 30/04/2020 : 11:42:42

Walking by my old mates, Chelsea Flower Show garden today
He bellowed from his new double glazed windows and started to say
Oh Lennie, I've recently made my peace with next doors annoying cat
He's held in high regard now, because he's caught that monster rat
You know that one that's been scurrying around my newly laid patio at night
Making us both nervous of going out there even though we got an expensive solar light
Apparently the feline named Santa Claws is now allowed on the newly erected hardwood fence to sit
But Bert added loudly, If he does a YOU KNOW WHAT in her petunia's Doreen's going to have a dicky fit!
billbaily Posted - 30/04/2020 : 10:04:00
I've struck up a deal with my elderly next door neighbour
Letitia is her name - a retired dogs hairdresser
I'm going to prune her bush & chop that overhanging tree
She's going to style my hair, that's if she can see...
over the fence using my long handled tree cutter
STILL social distancing whilst trimming my nutter
If it's a disaster I'll just go and self isolate
until I can venture out at a more convenient date

Chop, Chop Letitia
ooooooohhhh - Get the plasters quick!!!!!!!!!!!!!
billbaily Posted - 29/04/2020 : 11:28:45
Cwtched up in our cosy bed very late last Tuesday night
Looked up to the ceiling and what was crawling into sight
A gigantic huge bodied, leggy spider OMG it gave us a fright
It fell on to the bed so I quickly swiped it left and right
Where did it go, I cannot bleeping see
We panic now... then she sees it on my knobbly knee
Grabbed the Mrs' M&S nightie and flung it across the bed
but it got stuck in her Home Bargains curlers that were neatly stacked upon her head
Where did it go, where can it be!
Bleep to this palaver...I'm sleeping on the settee

Goodnight! Don't let the bed bugs bite
billbaily Posted - 29/04/2020 : 09:12:24
Today from my rainy lockdown window I saw some joggers running very fast
Their faces all red, Huffing & puffing madly as they sprinted past
How they get that lycra on ooooh... worries me a bit
they must be tugging & pulling for hours to get that attire to fit
I don't think I could wear it they look a bit too snug & tight
My poor arthritic legs would look like two polony's in a slow motion fight

I do admire their get up & go attitude though - well done!
billbaily Posted - 29/04/2020 : 09:00:00
Tad bored and didn't know what to do with myself last night
when an idea popped into my head and I thought I might
turn on the tablet and Google, How to knit
Decided on a useful garment, just hope it's going to fit
A pair of yellow, knitted Y fronts especially for me
Can't find pants in Tredegar shops for love nor money
At last I finished them, now to try them on
An amazing feeling inside I feel like bursting into song
Then I looked in the mirror and they looked a little bit odd
Not a pretty sight I think on my wrinkly, portly bod
The Mrs. stands in the doorway and wets herself with laughter
and says, "you can't be serious George you've never looked bleeping dafter".

Plan B
Off to Georges man cave and find something else to do!
billbaily Posted - 29/04/2020 : 08:45:45
Standing in the Barclays essential banking queue looking down at the Town clock below
Remembering very fondly all the Christmas festivities, where everyone likes to go
Kids happy, smiling faces wearing the biggest smiles
Stalls selling homemade cakes and warm delicious mince pies
Switch those twinkling lights on, everyone count down from 10
I may be biased here but it definitely beats London's Big Ben

Long may this tradition carry on again and again!
billbaily Posted - 28/04/2020 : 17:52:52
My dog Bill is a lovely old soul
His favourite past time is sitting by his bowl
He loves to lie down under the shopping centre seats
Right opposite his favourite shop - K & M Meats
He's drooling over those sausages, licking his chops
Wondering if he can snatch them before seeing the cops

Think he's fed up of dried food - he knows quality when he sees it
billbaily Posted - 28/04/2020 : 15:19:20
I'm going to get the basin out, to cut & shape my manic hair
I'm sitting out the kitchen on our Too Good To Waste dining chair
On goes the basin, out she comes with the snips
her shakey hand begins and the scissors begin to slip
Onto my lap oooooh... then onto the floor
I sit bolt upright and announce, NO FLIPPING MORE!

(I've decided I'm going for the Ozzy Osbourne look)
billbaily Posted - 28/04/2020 : 14:59:19
Come on Ddraig & Tony don't be shy
We need some entertainment here so give it a try
Get a bic & paper out and scribble something down
Use some verbs, adjectives or maybe a noun
It hasn't got to be lengthy or done megga posh
While your thinking about it - I'm off to have some lovely nosh

Thank you
ddraig Posted - 28/04/2020 : 13:46:39
well done billbaily I've tried but am useless at rhyming
tony Posted - 28/04/2020 : 13:19:33
You'll give Pam Ayres a run for her money. Fabulous.
billbaily Posted - 27/04/2020 : 14:58:41
Joined the Nelson's Chemist queue
Looking around admiring the view
The Tredegar Arms is looking very inviting
Ultra smart inside with up to date lighting
The NCB I cannot wait to see too
At the moment it's covered up out of view
A magnificent building don't you all agree
Erected 1818 by Samuel Homfray, owner of the T.I.C.
billbaily Posted - 27/04/2020 : 08:36:42
Mrs. C is a nosey old bat
She knows this and she knows that
10 packs of 4ply, soft touch, toilet rolls went in No3
She say's, that's more than is needed for the whole of Tredegar & me!

She doesn't draw breath as she tells you so
Pointing down the street - those lot are always on the go
Whispering, yes Friday nights their always out til late
She also knows when their home - she listens for their gate

Gossip, gossip all day long
Wish she'd change the same old song - (Wanted to use same old tune but it didn't rhyme)
billbaily Posted - 27/04/2020 : 08:17:45
Looked in the mirror and what do I see
Stared at my head there's a wild animal sitting on me
Gordon Bennett what the heck is that!
I'm going to have to wear a hat
I think to myself, Shall I shave it off for good
Ooooh Maybe not, cos I'll have to wear a hood
What about a ponytail that'll look megga, wicked & ice cool
Second thoughts hit me, at my grand age I'll look like an old fool

Dai Cap it is then!
billbaily Posted - 26/04/2020 : 13:33:26
My brains exhausted, I need your help from now on
My hope is that someone will place one before too long
Butch, Shelley, Snowy, Ddraig, Sailor help me out!
It really is - your shout
Nut&boltdarlo, Lily, Hawkeye too
Have you emigrated cos this topic needs you!

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