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goodwitchsilverwitch
Super Member

United Kingdom
1848 Posts

Posted - 07/05/2017 :  00:54:27  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
My friend gave his pony cough syrup,
because he thought it was a little horse.

goodwitchsilverwitch
Super Member

United Kingdom
1848 Posts

Posted - 07/08/2017 :  23:33:39 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Doris: My kitten likes to drink lemonade.
Bert : Boy, he sure must be a sourpuss.
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goodwitchsilverwitch
Super Member

United Kingdom
1848 Posts

Posted - 12/12/2017 :  01:43:43 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck
A Christmas quacker.
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goodwitchsilverwitch
Super Member

United Kingdom
1848 Posts

Posted - 18/06/2018 :  02:08:33 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
MacDonald had a farm on the outskirts of a village, he loved his animals, there was a whisper from the village folk that he loved them perhaps too much.
One night MacDonald heard knocking on his farmhouse door, he opened it to find a man exhausted from walking. The man explained that he had been travelling along the road when his car had broken down, he was unable to get a signal on his mobile so asked MacDonald if he could use his telephone, Macdonald told the man that he did not have a telephone but was welcome to stay at the farmhouse for the night.
The farmhouse was bleak with no division between human and the part housing the animals however the man thanked MacDonald and said he would stay the night.
What the man did not say was that he was a ventriloquist and his lateness in his journey was that he had been performing at a venue several miles away.
The man thought he would have a bit of fun and asked MacDonald if he would mind if he talked to the horse,Macdonald replied, "The horse doesn't talk". The man looked across to the horse and asked, "How's this guy treating you then?" throwing his voice, the man answers, "Well, okay. He rides me pretty hard sometimes, but nothing that a little more hay wouldn't cure!". MacDonald stares in amazement.
The man then looks at the dog sleeping behind the door, and asks MacDonald "What sort of a day has your dog had?" MacDonald replied "The dog doesn't talk!"
The man again throws his voice as if the dog were to say, "Can'y complain really, a little more meat when he makes me gather sheep all day wouldn't go amiss though". MacDonald's jaw drops in sheer amazement.
The man hears the bleating of a sheep somewhere in the dark corners of the adjoining barn. The man asks MacDonald if he can go and have a chat with the sheep, whereupon MacDonald shoots to his feet and shouts.
"No bloody way!, That sheep tells lies!".
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goodwitchsilverwitch
Super Member

United Kingdom
1848 Posts

Posted - 20/04/2019 :  23:59:01 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
What do you get if you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole
Hot cross bunnies!
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