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billbaily
Super Member

904 Posts

Posted - 25/04/2020 :  09:18:44  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I've noticed that on this forum there is a wide range of interesting folk living in or have connections with Tredegar. So I am wondering if we could put this to good use. We could all join in to compile a hopefully, longish poem on our real experiences or even made up things on this lockdown situation. We can see how far it goes until it comes to a natural end, but have a laugh along the way.
I'll start us off and see if someone can place the next verse after me
Here we go!

Outside the shop I join the long, snaking queue
Marks on the floor kept me two metres away from you
Grabbed a basket and started to walk quickly around
Headed for the toilet rolls, but none could be found
Thought to myself what other option do I have
When the inevitable time came when I NEEDED the lav!

billbaily
Super Member

904 Posts

Posted - 25/04/2020 :  11:13:27 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Read a book, Vacuumed the floor
Cleaned the cooker, clapped on the front door
Glanced at the clock hour by hour
then scooted out to the kitchen to look for some flour
Made something? like a sponge that dipped in the middle
Flipping Heck this baking lark is a fiddle
Don't think I'd Excel like talented chef Raymond Blanc
so I'm off to watch the rugby with a glass of my favourite plonk
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billbaily
Super Member

904 Posts

Posted - 25/04/2020 :  14:06:05 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
What has she cooked now, this interesting meal on my plate
She mutters, we gotta use perishable foods first cos they go out of date
The petrol needle hasn't moved at all in the car
I'd best start it up, as for weeks now we haven't gone very far
It'll be ready and waiting for us if we fancy a few spins
Right now I'm off to my daily job of filling up the recycling bins
Doing this job requires some serious expertise
Say he, gingerly picking up a jagged tin of marrowfat peas
Quite a few beer bottles here, noisily rattling around
It's hard to sort them out without making a sound
Rev James is a really good quality beer
An excellent price in Lidl - not too dear!
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billbaily
Super Member

904 Posts

Posted - 26/04/2020 :  09:50:20 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Hand held out, that look in her eyes
Am I in for a lovely, lovely surprise
No.......It's a long list another chore
Where does she find these things there are MORE & MORE
Moved some pots, dug up some trees
This list of hers is bringing me to my knees!
All is forgiven after a tasty meal and a refreshing shower
Just hope she doesn't notice I squashed her Rhododendron flower
If she does I'll blame it on next doors annoying cat
and hopefully, God willing that will be the end of that!
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billbaily
Super Member

904 Posts

Posted - 26/04/2020 :  09:53:54 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Covid19 P2 - is an interesting read
But CC Covid19 is what most people need
Thanks to Pierre for setting up this forum
It certainly helps relieve our boredom
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billbaily
Super Member

904 Posts

Posted - 26/04/2020 :  10:23:40 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Painting fences, jet washing paths
Home schooling kids..... and dreading the maths!
Friends & family Face time happens after everyone's been fed
Only to discover your phones knackered battery is completely dead
The kids have been filming on it most of the day
When you play it back you cringe at what they say
I'll be the daddy where's the bl...y remote
And mam's phoning Aunty Bronwen saying he's getting on her goat
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billbaily
Super Member

904 Posts

Posted - 26/04/2020 :  10:36:35 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Captain Tom Moore what a fantastic, inspirational guy
When he's on the television he moves many folk to cry
100 years old, 29 million plus raised
NHS hero - he must be praised
Walked 100 laps around his garden without a moan
Not forgetting a No1 record with Never Walk Alone
Take your hats off, give him a massive WELSH clap
He definitely is quite an amazing chap
Well done Capt. Tom
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billbaily
Super Member

904 Posts

Posted - 26/04/2020 :  11:03:48 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Raise a glass to Tredegar town
on managing this difficult lockdown
When everything's up & running, back to normal
I know what business I'm going to call in
Happy Gathering for some battered fish & chips
along with freezing cold coke - for icy sips
Shake on the salt, shake on the vinegar
Quickly drive to Bryn Bach Parc & scoff them in the car

Luvly Jubbly
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billbaily
Super Member

904 Posts

Posted - 26/04/2020 :  13:14:55 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
The paths outside are a treat to see
People walking their dogs, happily
Canine's glad to get out in the fresh air
Pulling madly on their leads without any care
Dogs do not know what's been going on, as of late
They're just out and they're feeling woofing GREAT!
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billbaily
Super Member

904 Posts

Posted - 26/04/2020 :  13:33:26 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
My brains exhausted, I need your help from now on
My hope is that someone will place one before too long
Butch, Shelley, Snowy, Ddraig, Sailor help me out!
It really is - your shout
Nut&boltdarlo, Lily, Hawkeye too
Have you emigrated cos this topic needs you!
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billbaily
Super Member

904 Posts

Posted - 27/04/2020 :  08:17:45 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Looked in the mirror and what do I see
Stared at my head there's a wild animal sitting on me
Gordon Bennett what the heck is that!
I'm going to have to wear a hat
I think to myself, Shall I shave it off for good
Ooooh Maybe not, cos I'll have to wear a hood
What about a ponytail that'll look megga, wicked & ice cool
Second thoughts hit me, at my grand age I'll look like an old fool

Dai Cap it is then!
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billbaily
Super Member

904 Posts

Posted - 27/04/2020 :  08:36:42 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Mrs. C is a nosey old bat
She knows this and she knows that
10 packs of 4ply, soft touch, toilet rolls went in No3
She say's, that's more than is needed for the whole of Tredegar & me!

She doesn't draw breath as she tells you so
Pointing down the street - those lot are always on the go
Whispering, yes Friday nights their always out til late
She also knows when their home - she listens for their gate

Gossip, gossip all day long
Wish she'd change the same old song - (Wanted to use same old tune but it didn't rhyme)
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billbaily
Super Member

904 Posts

Posted - 27/04/2020 :  14:58:41 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Joined the Nelson's Chemist queue
Looking around admiring the view
The Tredegar Arms is looking very inviting
Ultra smart inside with up to date lighting
The NCB I cannot wait to see too
At the moment it's covered up out of view
A magnificent building don't you all agree
Erected 1818 by Samuel Homfray, owner of the T.I.C.
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tony
Advanced Member

United Kingdom
274 Posts

Posted - 28/04/2020 :  13:19:33 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
You'll give Pam Ayres a run for her money. Fabulous.
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ddraig
Super Member

United Kingdom
1563 Posts

Posted - 28/04/2020 :  13:46:39 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
well done billbaily I've tried but am useless at rhyming
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billbaily
Super Member

904 Posts

Posted - 28/04/2020 :  14:59:19 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Come on Ddraig & Tony don't be shy
We need some entertainment here so give it a try
Get a bic & paper out and scribble something down
Use some verbs, adjectives or maybe a noun
It hasn't got to be lengthy or done megga posh
While your thinking about it - I'm off to have some lovely nosh

Thank you
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billbaily
Super Member

904 Posts

Posted - 28/04/2020 :  15:19:20 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I'm going to get the basin out, to cut & shape my manic hair
I'm sitting out the kitchen on our Too Good To Waste dining chair
On goes the basin, out she comes with the snips
her shakey hand begins and the scissors begin to slip
Onto my lap oooooh... then onto the floor
I sit bolt upright and announce, NO FLIPPING MORE!

(I've decided I'm going for the Ozzy Osbourne look)
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billbaily
Super Member

904 Posts

Posted - 28/04/2020 :  17:52:52 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
My dog Bill is a lovely old soul
His favourite past time is sitting by his bowl
He loves to lie down under the shopping centre seats
Right opposite his favourite shop - K & M Meats
He's drooling over those sausages, licking his chops
Wondering if he can snatch them before seeing the cops

Think he's fed up of dried food - he knows quality when he sees it
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billbaily
Super Member

904 Posts

Posted - 29/04/2020 :  08:45:45 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Standing in the Barclays essential banking queue looking down at the Town clock below
Remembering very fondly all the Christmas festivities, where everyone likes to go
Kids happy, smiling faces wearing the biggest smiles
Stalls selling homemade cakes and warm delicious mince pies
Switch those twinkling lights on, everyone count down from 10
I may be biased here but it definitely beats London's Big Ben

Long may this tradition carry on again and again!
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billbaily
Super Member

904 Posts

Posted - 29/04/2020 :  09:00:00 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Tad bored and didn't know what to do with myself last night
when an idea popped into my head and I thought I might
turn on the tablet and Google, How to knit
Decided on a useful garment, just hope it's going to fit
A pair of yellow, knitted Y fronts especially for me
Can't find pants in Tredegar shops for love nor money
At last I finished them, now to try them on
An amazing feeling inside I feel like bursting into song
Then I looked in the mirror and they looked a little bit odd
Not a pretty sight I think on my wrinkly, portly bod
The Mrs. stands in the doorway and wets herself with laughter
and says, "you can't be serious George you've never looked bleeping dafter".

Plan B
Off to Georges man cave and find something else to do!
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billbaily
Super Member

904 Posts

Posted - 29/04/2020 :  09:12:24 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Today from my rainy lockdown window I saw some joggers running very fast
Their faces all red, Huffing & puffing madly as they sprinted past
How they get that lycra on ooooh... worries me a bit
they must be tugging & pulling for hours to get that attire to fit
I don't think I could wear it they look a bit too snug & tight
My poor arthritic legs would look like two polony's in a slow motion fight

I do admire their get up & go attitude though - well done!
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billbaily
Super Member

904 Posts

Posted - 29/04/2020 :  11:28:45 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Cwtched up in our cosy bed very late last Tuesday night
Looked up to the ceiling and what was crawling into sight
A gigantic huge bodied, leggy spider OMG it gave us a fright
It fell on to the bed so I quickly swiped it left and right
Where did it go, I cannot bleeping see
We panic now... then she sees it on my knobbly knee
Grabbed the Mrs' M&S nightie and flung it across the bed
but it got stuck in her Home Bargains curlers that were neatly stacked upon her head
Where did it go, where can it be!
Bleep to this palaver...I'm sleeping on the settee

Goodnight! Don't let the bed bugs bite
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billbaily
Super Member

904 Posts

Posted - 30/04/2020 :  10:04:00 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I've struck up a deal with my elderly next door neighbour
Letitia is her name - a retired dogs hairdresser
I'm going to prune her bush & chop that overhanging tree
She's going to style my hair, that's if she can see...
over the fence using my long handled tree cutter
STILL social distancing whilst trimming my nutter
If it's a disaster I'll just go and self isolate
until I can venture out at a more convenient date

Chop, Chop Letitia
ooooooohhhh - Get the plasters quick!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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billbaily
Super Member

904 Posts

Posted - 30/04/2020 :  11:42:42 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote

Walking by my old mates, Chelsea Flower Show garden today
He bellowed from his new double glazed windows and started to say
Oh Lennie, I've recently made my peace with next doors annoying cat
He's held in high regard now, because he's caught that monster rat
You know that one that's been scurrying around my newly laid patio at night
Making us both nervous of going out there even though we got an expensive solar light
Apparently the feline named Santa Claws is now allowed on the newly erected hardwood fence to sit
But Bert added loudly, If he does a YOU KNOW WHAT in her petunia's Doreen's going to have a dicky fit!
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billbaily
Super Member

904 Posts

Posted - 30/04/2020 :  13:26:03 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Started a lockdown jigsaw puzzle approximately 4 weeks ago
1,000 tiny pieces in the box was stated so.
990 pieces later I started to get a little annoyed
rounded up the family they were going to be deployed..
to look for the missing pieces that belonged to Charles & Camilla
If I cannot complete this puzzle I'm going to have to use Polyfilla!

So sorry your HRH found them chewed up in the dog's bed

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billbaily
Super Member

904 Posts

Posted - 30/04/2020 :  13:38:15 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Sitting in my garden having a cup of tea
Watching the bees as they whizz past me
There's a nest in my chimney, crows are flying back & fore
I look down on the paving at the busy insects on the floor
Above are bright blue skies with just a gentle flowing breeze
I kick off my old gardening shoes and lean back with ease
It's so quiet... it makes you stop & stare
All my senses are heightened and it makes you more aware..
of this natural beauty we are seeing everyday
Thinking we are so fortunate in everyway
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